And today we're going to be going into session two for Working Well. So last week, Beth Finkle went over kind of what Working Well was going to be all about. And so this is really that kick off session after that. And today's topic is breaking down stress. So we will be talking about exactly that. So today, a very high level overview of what, what is stress, just to kind of set that foundation. And then I'm going to talk about three steps to taming your stress. And at the end of my presentation, I'm going to put you all into breakout rooms to do a little activity. So jumping right in. What is stress? So, by definition, stress is a state of physical or mental tension that is triggered by a stressor. So the state that we're in that is triggered by something. We think of stress then, as the stress response, or it's also known as that fight or flight mode that we get into. So what happens is when we have a, a real or perceived threat, so for example, this image above, you have the saber tooth tiger with these cave men, and it says "you can fight, me I'm flight." So our bodies prepare us to be able to either fight a real threat or to run away from it. And during this process, hormones are released that kind of does a lot of different things to our body, but you might notice your heart rate increases, your breathing increases, you might get hot or sweaty. It really just helps you to focus on what is the most important. And that is to figure out how to fight this threat or to flee that threat. This was really useful for our ancestors who actually had this physical threat with the saber tooth tiger. And while there are many instances in our lives, in this world, where we might have this actual threat to our lives. Most oftentimes that stress response is triggered by things that might just be, you know, like this breakout room issue, right. Where I'm trying to figure out how to do the breakout room. It's not showing up, I'm not the host. And that kind of gets you a little bit stressed out of what's going on so that stress response can be triggered in a variety of ways. The question that many people ask is, can stress be good for you or is it always bad for you? I think many times we just associate the term stress with negativity. But there are pros and cons to this stress response that we all experience. Some stress is absolutely essential to be able to get things done in our life. So if you look to the right of this slide on this chart, you can see that as the severity and the duration of stress goes up, right? We can maybe go from being bored when we have no pressure to do anything. We have no deadlines, nobody telling us that we have to get something done to then maybe a boss saying, hey, there's a deadline for this assignment that's due at the end of the week. So it's giving you that motivation to be able to actually perform something. Without that stress, we really don't have that motivation to do things. And so there is that kind of sweet spot of stress. And stress is essential. It's really when it starts to tip into having chronic stress. So when that stress response is triggered on an ongoing basis, and that stress response maintains kind of that peak level. So for example, before public speaking, I might get a little bit nervous coming into a presentation, but once I get into the flow that I start to feel that stress response diminish. However, in some people that stress response can say heightened, So you're kind of in this chronic state of stress. And over time that can cause health consequences and especially if, when you are managing that stress response. So when we think about when we're feeling stressed, how are you handling that? So depending on how we handle that stress, it can lead to various forms of chronic disease. So increased risk for heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and all sorts of things. So you really need to remember that stress is good for us and in fact, it's essential. But when it gets out of control, that's really where it can cause problems. So throughout this, this session today, I really want to break down the components of stress so you can begin to recognize, where is it interfering with your life and what can you do to kind of literally tame that stress. What are those three steps that you can take to tame your stress? The first is awareness. You have to become aware and learn to recognize your personal stress symptoms and your personal stressors. Everyone's going to respond to stress differently. And we might have different things that cause us stress. So the first step is to gain that awareness. The second is to take a step back and evaluate the stressor. What's actually going on. And that third step is your response. How are you going to actually choose to cope with this stress? And so we'll go into each of these steps. So the first, awareness, How do you actually know when you're stressed and how might it actually affect your work or your wellbeing? So I'm going to open it up to the group. Feel free to raise your hand and I can unmute you. Again, the question is, how do you actually know when you're stressed? Let's see if you've raised your hand. Feel free to unmute. Oh, there we go, Darlene. So sometimes it's just like for me anyway, it's kind of like that feeling in the pit of your stomach. You know, you just get nervous about something. [Laura] Hmm, yeah. Having that feeling in the pit of your stomach. And when you're feeling stressed, you know, can you think about how that might affect your work or your wellbeing? [Darlene] I think generally speaking, when you're stressed. I mean, it depends on the level of stress too. But I think sometimes if, you know, if your stress is, at least for me, if you know, if it's overworked or too much to do or something like that, I don't function quite as well. But then, you know, there is other times where I feel like a little bit of stress maybe even makes me work better. Yeah. You know, I don't know. Kinda goes both ways. [Laura] Yeah. It's that balance, right? Kind of that curve. Where does it motivate you and then tip over the edge. [Chelsea] Jackie raised her hand. Jackie Lukawski [Laura] Jackie, I'm unmuting you. [Jackie] Hi! So for me, I start taking things out on my family. I'm just very snippy and it doesn't.. I don't do that to my coworkers, I would hope. But I'm sure that stress starts to spill over in other ways, [Laura] Yeah, so getting snippy. And that could be kind of in your family. And how does that, those symptoms affect your work and your wellbeing? [Ryan] Jennifer, do you want to unmute yourself? [Jennifer] I'm similar to kind of Jackie, I notice when I get a little more stressed, I get short with my kids and I try to recognize when I do that and not take it out on them because chances are whatever I'm stressed about, it's not their fault, but they just happened to be the recipient. But also I can feel it in I get, when I get too stressed, it's in my shoulders, I start getting really tense back there and that's when I know I'm getting like too stressed. But I'm the same way, sometimes, being stressed, I tend to work better, but I try not to let it affects work and those that I work with; Because it's not their fault. But yes, I'm the same way. Sometimes headaches or just the shortness with family. [Laura] Yeah, so lots of overlap. [Ryan] Then [Laura] Yeah? [Ryan] Laura, I just want to [Ryan] to monitor the chat since you're speaking, I'll kind of keep an eye on the chat for you, but we had a lot of those mental distractions that are coming up in the chat as well. So rushing through things, feeling flustered, lack of focus. So a lot of people are chiming in on that mental side as well. [Laura] Thanks, Ryan [Chelsea] And Cynthia, it looked like you physically raised her hand Literal. [Laura] But we have to unmute you. [Cynthia] Yeah. But I'm not sure, am I supposed to just chat. is that what I'm supposed to do? If you wanted to share. [Cynthia] Yeah. Just I was thinking everybody, like you said, Hi, Ryan! I didn't realize that was you with your hair pulled back. [Ryan] Hi, how are you? [Cynthia] Hi to whoever I know here, I'm just thinking, like, yeah, I get like a tightness in my chest, like a racing heart sometimes. Ahhh! That's how mine comes out. And then I can't sleep at night. I haven't been sleeping very well. [Laura] Yeah. Just the stress that accumulates throughout the day and then .. [Cynthia] that just makes it worse the next day. But thank you. [Laura] Alright, so we're going to keep going. So again, all of us have different symptoms. So when we think about our stress response, recognizing that these symptoms may appear in multiple areas of our life, of our day. And we don't necessarily have just one symptom. So thinking about the physical nature, right? People said headaches, muscle tension. Emotionally, you might get irritable or anxious or frustrated. You might feel like there's just not really a point to anything, just get impulsive so your behaviors might change. You might have an inability to focus. So all of these things can be that warning sign that hey, something's going on, something triggered my stress response. And depending on when you catch yourself in that stress response, your symptoms may be very mild and you can tame them easier. Or it might be where you've been very stressed out for a couple of days and then you just completely crash. So the first step in that awareness is to be able to recognize when are you feeling stressed. And so the next time that you experience any type of physical or emotional discomfort, just pause and ask yourself, could this be a response to stress? Because if so, you've now identified, okay, my body is telling me something. I'm in a stress state right now and I need to be able to do something about that because ultimately we don't want to feel that discomfort. So that's the next course of action. The other component of awareness is, what actually is triggering my stress response to begin with? So we can be proactive in understanding what is causing that stress. So I want to ask another question of what activates your stress response. Feel free to put that in the chat, or you can raise your hand or just unmute yourself. [Jackie] I put in the chat, But just COVID in general. Just anxiety. Doesn't seem to go away for me. [Laura] Yeah, there's just so many unknowns with COVID. It causes an ongoing stress response. Yeah. I'm sure many of us can relate to that too. It's we're all affected by that and it's hard. [Ryan] I think for me, I know one of the biggest tips in psychology and in wellbeing is not to stress over things that you can't control. But all of my stress comes from things that I can't control. I know then I need to work on it. But it's things like, I saw somebody just posted, you know, the election, COVID. That these are things that we.. I know we have our own little microcosms of control within it, but these large things that we have no control over do give, at least they give me some level of anxiety. [Laura] Yeah. That lack of control is very stress inducing. So think about as we go through this, you know, what are those things that stress you out? When we think about stressors, Stressors are everywhere. They can show up in various aspects of our life, emotional, relationships, working and career, all different areas. And when we think about stressors, they come in many different forms, but they can be related to change, right? Change from working in the office to having to work from home. That's a huge change. And with that comes many changes. Conflict, right? If you disagree with somebody. Somebody put the election right? If you disagree with who should be, you know, who is going to be president, that can create conflict. Obstacles. If you have to get something done, maybe you're driving somewhere and you are running late to an appointment and there's a traffic jam, right? That's going to slow you down, that causes stress. Overload, having too much to balance, Criticism. Somebody criticizing you or you criticizing yourself, saying, I'm not good enough. That can trigger the stress response. Comparing yourself to somebody else or to something else. Time, even a physical pain, having actual physical discomfort can cause stress. So your symptoms of stress can cause more stress. That's fun. So I want to ask, looking at this picture, what is going on in this situation? What do you think and sky is the limit, So feel free to chime in. What do you think is going on here? [Jennifer] This is my everyday life [Laura] So what's happening? [Jennifer] You just summed up kids constantly arguing and me just going, stop it already, enough I have work to do. Go do something. [Laura] So what's going on in their head? Like what do you think is going on in her head right now? [Jennifer] They are... you know, I don't know. I mean, mine have been pretty well adaptive. They're probably like everybody else they want to be back in school with their friends. They want to be around their friends. They're tired of being home with each other since March. They're probably just, you know, getting tired of seeing each other and playing with each other. [Laura] And so what's going through your mind when you see that happening? [Jennifer] Most of it, I just chalk it up to them being ... they're close in age mine are. They are 17 months apart. So they're very close. They're almost... So they just, it's typical brothers, sisters, siblings stuff. They did a lot of that before COVID, So you know, I don't know [Laura] Yeah, [Jennifer] They don't, they don't, they seem pretty well adapted. This hasn't really bothered them. I haven't noticed many changes, but I'm sure it has. it's been rough. [Laura] Yeah. So seeing this, You related to. Just seeing that, And that was like, whoa, like this is my life all the time. But the reason I'm showing this is the second part of this taming your stress is evaluation. So how you view or think about a particular stressor. So whether it's your kids fighting, right, it matters. That perception is going to make a significant difference in whether or not you're feeling stressed out by something and how much you're feeling stressed about it. So when it comes to that evaluation, it's really helpful to learn when somethings stressful to you, asking yourself, what about this is actually stressing me out. So your past experiences can influence whether or not something stresses you out. So let's say public speaking for example. The first time you did public speaking, you completely blanked. You messed up. Everybody laughed at you. So now the next time you have to go public speak, you're thinking about that horrible experience, right? Self efficacy. You are your belief in your ability to actually do something. So Ryan mentioned a lot of these things that she's stress out about are outside of her control. Right? So if you don't believe that you have control over something that's going to cause stress, your knowledge about a situation. So the election, right? We don't have control, but what if we don't have knowledge of what the choices are going to take place. Your attitude, your beliefs, your values. So all of these, these components come together to really determine what stresses you out. And so with that, a really important kind of takeaway from this is that stress ultimately is subjective. So what is stressful to one person might be very motivating or fuel them, right? So you might hear like, I'm going to keep using Ryan as an example because that's what pops into my mind. But like, she might send pictures of her kids and they are making a mess. And I'll put like, oh my gosh, that's the cutest thing. Like I would love to just like hang out with them and she's like if only you knew. So it's all that perspective, it's how you're viewing a situation and all of those components. But with that said, when we are feeling stressed and we have that stressor, we have to recognize that there's always a reality to the situation and then there is a reaction. So that reality, that is really what actually happened, right? So when we think about the image of the children fighting, right? Okay. The kids are fighting because Jessica stole Tommy's toy. Right, now they're fighting. They can't share. That's the situation. The reaction ultimately is what causes us the stress. It's our perception of that situation. Oh my gosh, my kids can never get along. We've been over this before. We've talked about sharing. They just can't get it like every day they are yelling and screaming. Like, am I not a good enough parent? Right? So you have all of these thoughts that are creating feelings and it's kind of just fueling the stress response. So when we learn to separate the reality from the reaction, it helps us to see that ultimately, we have control over how we react to something, even if we don't have control of that situation. And that can be really tough to do when it's something that like you just want to control. Like the outcome of the election, right? Where it's well nothing's going to make you feel better. But that's not true. We all have a choice to work on that reaction. We all have a choice to cope with things in different ways. And so really recognizing when we have that stressor to take that step back. So then what happens when we have this stressor? How do we respond to it? So what actions do we actually take? So in the chat or if you want to unmute yourself and you want to kind of share like what, in what ways do you typically respond to when you're feeling stressed? [Nancy] I sigh a lot. [Jen] I was actually going to say that too. [Nancy] Laura, you used to sit next to me, you know that? [Jen] It's more like taking a breath. I would say, Nancy. [Nancy] it's like I know I feel the tightness, then my reaction is to just take a deep breath. And so if I am aware of how often I take a deep breath and I can zoom in on, okay, What is stressing me? [Laura] Yeah. Yeah. So that sigh can be kind of a way to relieve the tension, but also be a symptom of the stress. So it's almost like two-fold. So when it comes to responding to stress, again, your response is your choice. And it might not seem like that in some cases, because how you respond when you're feeling stressed could now be a habit. So maybe if you're stressed, like for me, if I'm stressed throughout the day and I don't take moments to mitigate that, then I carry that to the evening. And let me tell you like, candy is my best friend when that happens because that's like, it releases dopamine, it feels good. So I've developed a habit of eating candy when I'm feeling stressed at the end of the day. That might not make me feel good. So I might not think that it's a choice but it is a choice. We have to recognize though, that we can choose less effective coping mechanisms. So avoiding the situation, avoiding thinking about it, doing anything about it. Saying, well, I can't do anything so I'm just going to ignore it. And unhealthy lifestyles. So maybe using substances to relieve the symptoms of stress, or to handle a situation. Maybe you do a compulsive behavior. So if you stress shop. you find yourself on Amazon when you're feeling really stressed out. And aggression, irritation, thinking excessively about something and thinking that you can't change. Those are going to be less effective strategies. Many of these, which I think each of us probably have strategies that aren't that effective, but they don't serve us in the long term. So they might give us a short-term, like feel-good response, but ultimately it's going to create stress in the long-term. The more challenging ones tend to be the ones that help us in the long-term. So those more effective strategies. Taking time to problem-solve. What is the reality of the situation versus my reaction? What can I do? Healthy lifestyle, right? when you're feeling stressed, can you go for a walk outside? Can you do some meditation. Seeking social support, So talking to people in a positive way versus just kind of complaining to somebody about the situation. So again, there's these two different ways that we can choose to respond when it comes to stress. And a takeaway here is that these choices can be proactive or reactive. So the proactive choices would be, what can I do day-to-day in my life to make sure that I'm well, that I'm caring for myself? So exercising, eating well, taking breaks during your work day so you don't get this build up of stress. Or you can be reactive. When you notice, oh my gosh, like I'm really tense right now, or I'm starting to get a short fuse with my spouse. That's a sign that I'm stressed. So what can I go do? Maybe I need to go take a five-minute walk around the block. So being able to recognize that we can be both reactive and proactive. So the next time that you are feeling stressed, I want you to make an effort to simply pause, take a deep breath, take a moment to yourself. And follow these three steps. Assess the situation. What is the reality of the situation? My kids are fighting, I didn't do well on a work project. I'm stuck in traffic and I'm running late to an appointment. And what is my reaction? What are all of my thoughts that I'm thinking about around this? What am I worried about that's going to happen? And what can I control? Sometimes the only thing that you can control in a situation are your thoughts, right? Or you can choose to find a way to get out of that situation. But a lot of it comes back to our prospective. And then ask yourself, what is in your control and what's the next best step. So with that, this next slide, there's a lot on here, so I want you to bear with me, but this is really going to be an action plan for yourself. So when you take a stressor, what can you do about it? So think about something that causes you stress. What is that stressor? So I will give an example of a stressor. Sometimes I feel overloaded with my work. That is a stressor, right? Being overloaded. The reality of that situation might be, well, if my boss gives me more work and I don't speak up about feeling overwhelmed, then I'm going to feel overwhelmed and overloaded. So the reality is I have this work but I'm not saying anything about it. So my reaction might be, well now I feel overwhelmed and frustrated, I might avoid the situation. You might procrastinate, complain to people about feeling stressed. Well, that doesn't help you. So then you have to think about your response. You will choose to respond by... Some ideas could be, you could respond by prioritizing, make a list of what you're working on. When your tasks are due. Delegate, see what you can pass off to somebody. Discuss. Speak up, tell your boss what's going on and ask for a conversation. And so from that we have to think about what are your actual action step. So now you know what might help you respond effectively, but what can you do? So these action steps are prioritizing, maybe on Mondays from 8:30 to 9 every week, I'm going to take inventory of what I have my plate that week, so I can prioritize. See what's going on. That makes me feel in control because I'm actually looking. Then I can delegate. So maybe it'll be helpful for me to have a one-on-one every week with one of my coworkers where we talk about what's on our plates and then ask, where do you need help? What can I take off of your plate for you? And then that discussion could be, Well, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, when I've tried the prioritization, when I've tried delegating or maybe I can't delegate and I'm not sure what to prioritize. Now I know, when I feel this way, I need to go to my supervisor, to my boss and say, Hey, can we set up a meeting? I'm feeling overwhelmed. I need help prioritizing. And this is an example that I use pretty much every time Ryan is on a call with me. But that's the most helpful thing that I've found in my work. Like when I feel overwhelmed with work, the first thing that I do is I message Ryan and I say, can we please talk, I need help to put this into perspective and I immediately feel better. So recognizing that I could have chosen to have not spoken up and said, well, they're going to make, it's going to make me look bad if I say I can't handle this, right, that's my choice to react that way. And then lastly, really digging deeper. Why are you choosing to respond this way? So give yourself that motivation to hold onto. If I make an effort to prioritize, delegate, to speak up when I don't feel well, then this is ultimately going to help me to feel balanced at work. That's going to help me feel like I can complete all of the things that are on my plate. It's going to help me feel less overwhelmed. And that's going to give me increased self-efficacy that I can do that. It's going to change my attitude that, hey, when I need help, I have help. I just have to ask for it. Everything comes back to those different variables. And I apologize for rushing through this slide. I'm used to one hour workshops. So this was like a big challenge for me. So with that, I wanted to say that I do have, I plan to put you will and breakout rooms to kind of pair up with each other and walk through this process of identifying what's a stressor, what's the reaction reality and an action plan. So I will stay on. If you need to jump off, I want to respect your time. I will provide slides to everybody who's on this call. This will be recorded and then certainly if you have any questions, please let me know. But if you want to stay on, I will put everybody into breakout rooms and we can do a little activity. Any questions?
Working Well: Breaking Down Stress
From Laura Soltys October 05, 2020
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In this session of Working Well, Laura Gimbutas, Wellbeing Coordinator of Employee Health and Wellbeing will discuss the pros and cons of the human stress response; help you identify how stress shows up in your life; and how to cope effectively.
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- October 05, 2020
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